WOW, does God move. He don't play around. I gotta write about this before I forget too many details (thank you adhd).
I had secured a last minute spot at a women's group meet up called Couch Therapy (7/30/25). The women that attend this, the majority attend my church, meet once a month. This isn't just a one time event. Every last Tuesday of the month the ladies meet to discuss topics, connect, heal and have a safe space to talk through anything. The event had been marked sold out (it's free but you need to reserve your spot), and my mom was a bit sad she couldn't go with me (she is visiting from FL). I got home after work and I went to check the details for the time and address; this was something I knew I couldn't arrive late for. Upon checking the details I saw that the event went from "sold out" to "a few spots left" and I brought my mom.
Yesterday's session was about restoration, specifically about finding your voice after it has been silenced (no matter how recent or long ago). It came RIGHT ON TIME for the season I see myself entering.
Let me walk you through the night...
My mom and I arrived and began the sign in process. Immediately I was recognized by one of the women at the table who I have only briefly met at church a few times. BUT this woman, Missy, I believe (I am horrible with names ahhh) had been someone God used as confirmation that I was in the right place when I began attending One City Church Nashville.
I had been bringing my daughter to service with me because their children's ministry is 2+ and my husband had been traveling consistently on the weekends. One Sunday morning we are in the back of the church (as usual) during worship and when it was over it was time for us to find our seats in the back; giving my daughter the freedom to move was important for me and it kept the peace haha.
As I was getting ready for service, Missy (I think ahh), approached me and offered to hold my daughter so I could sit down and be fully present for the service. Halfway through the sermon I look back to see how Ali is doing and she is ASLEEP, passed out in her arms and looked soooo peaceful. Mind you, my daughter fights her sleep and usually at 10/10:30 is fully awake and active. It was in that moment that I knew in my spirit I was in the right place. My daughter does not take well to everybody right away, let alone fall asleep in the arms of a woman she does not know. If my daughter is at peace, then I am at peace.
I had found my church home.
This is important to the story because it was her mother who was a guest speaker for this couch therapy session and it was her mother who, without knowing me, saw me.
Once we had signed in and took our seats it was time to get started and naturally we did that with an ice breaker. They asked us to find a woman we had not come here with and to share about a moment where we have been silenced and a moment where we felt the strongest. I was able to share that I am entering a season of strength and taking back who I am in Christ. I am in a season of obedience and surrender.
We were called back to sit down and it was time to share. A few women shared and then I was called out. I guess it was time for me to start speaking (I don't like being called on or talking in public). I shared about my current situation working with someone who has very narcissistic tendencies and is the lead teacher over me at my job. I shared about reaching a point, after almost 2 years of conflict, where I am now able to stand up for myself. God had revealed to me who she was and I was no longer the one to be manipulated or gaslit. Although I have to submit I am doing so with boundaries. I stand by what I say and fight in the spirit as much as I can.
Ephesians 6:12 (ESV)
"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places."
The session got started and at the end of it all they left space for questions to be asked. A couple women shared and towards the end of having to close they asked if anybody else wanted to share. I heard God tell me "you need to share..". I reluctantly put a hand up only to be beat by another woman and I may or may not have sighed out of relief. As she was done sharing they came back to me and that is when I knew I had to obey. I had been seen.
They handed me the microphone and I spoke about the fear of being perceived, of growing up feeling like what I had to say didn't matter, of not wanting to be seen but also wanting to be seen (if that makes sense). I touched on one of the roots of the issue being my father and the trauma I had from his parenting. My voice was constantly silenced, especially when it came to my feelings, and that bled into my youth and adulthood. I was tired of feeling that way, as I have felt drawn to pursue social media, but the fear of it all has stopped me from being consistent among other things.
Yvette (guest speaker) asked if I would stand so that I could be prayed over. I did and she prayed. Immediately after Maya, another member of the team for Couch Therapy grabbed my hands and thanked me. Because not only did I speak up, I created a space for her to not only pray over me once more but to pray over every single woman in the room.
What I witnessed following that moment was the DIRECT product of my obedience to the Lord. Not only did she speak life into these women, I saw women get delivered. I saw women cry and finally release yearsssss of truama. I saw women holding space for one another. What was suppose to strictly end at 9pm ended at 9:45 without an ounce of interruption. I stayed in my prayer language for most of the time once Maya was done with me and just sat in awe. As we prayed and I observed I could feel the Holy Spirit and His wind blow through the room (it was a smaller space and the humidity that day was high making it a tad hot in the room). I had felt it when Maya prayed over me and I felt it for the duration of the time God was working in the room.
If I hadn't been obedient, I would have robbed these women and myself of allowing God to come in and work. I would have robbed women from their deliverance and I would have robbed the opportunity for others to step out in boldness.
I let go of the fear of being seen, of being perceived and I stepped out in faith TRUSTING in Jesus and with a heart of obedience. This is just the beginning for me. God broke chains in me that night and I am ready for what He does for me and through me next. All for His glory!
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