Ya'll there is a Jesus shift in the atmosphere and it is happening within me as well as with others.
More and more people are searching for God in the midst of this chaotic and evil world. Through social media, through church, through others. People need more, there is a thirst for connection. This connection is not found in drugs or alcohol, it is not found in earthly possessions or human relationships (of any kind). This thirst is one that craves a deep and supernatural connection, a connection to someone or something bigger than ourselves, a thirst that our spirit and soul need quenched.
Now that I have your attention let me give you some background before we dive in. I grew up as a PK (pastor's kid) in the early 2000's (1997 baby) and at 28 years old have witnessed, experienced and endured so much. You name it and most likely I can relate, wether it be happy experiences, trauma and abuse, supernatural/spiritual experiences, being a woman, being a mom and a daughter, being a wife. And only God knows what else. All that to say that although I am young, I understand.
I have had my seasons of being in a deep and intentional relationship with Jesus, my seasons of "rebellious" behavior (my cry for help), my seasons of pushing God away to where I had one foot in the world and one foot in Christ (because I thought it was possible). I have questioned God, screamed at him, complained and cried to Him, I have thanked and rejoiced in His goodness. I have been on fire, cold and lukewarm.
I received Christ into my heart at a very young age, I was around the age of 4. I believe I had first gotten baptized in middle school but that is a bit blurry, I just remember being young and we had it done in a pool at the pastor's house (I think haha). I then rededicated my life in high school I believe and got baptized again around the age of 20 after leaving an abusive relationship. THEN I moved to the wonderful city of Nashville and lost myself once again. Up until that point my home life had never really been stable and there was a lot of hurt and trauma surrounding my child and into my adulthood. I had left for Nashville with my parent's blessing and knew that God had opened doors for a reason. The first year was rockyyyyy and although I was still pursuing a relationship with Christ I was also doing 22 year old things (partying, drinking heavily, I was on dating apps and sleeping around). Although I had left on decent terms I knew I was also running away from my life in Florida.
As I am typing this I realize I am writing about my testimony.....
I hadn't realized how little love and care I had for myself and my life. I crashed my car not even 6 months into moving due to drinking and driving, I thought I had control and that since I had been doing it "responsibly", whatever that means, I was fine. Well, surprise, I was not fine. I blacked out in the car, driving on the highway on my way to meet some guy I had briefly been seeing on Tinder. My car flipped three times and went behind a perimeter wall and by THE GRACE OF GOD, I sustained no injuries (except for a faint burn scar from the Nissan decal burning me due to the airbag releasing) and God saved me from an arrest and jail.
I still do not know, to this day, why the officers who eventually came did not make an arrest or test me. All I know was that in the midst of it all God's hand was on me and it would be yearssss until I would be able to be honest with myself about wha happened. I made up a lie that my steering wheel locked up, causing me to lose control and wreck. I told it so much I started to believe it.... except there was always something deep down that knew it wasn't so.
I continued to drink and I continued to make reckless decisions. I was diagnosed with ptsd in 2020 and instead of seeking help I continued to hide behind my substance abuse... At this point my husband and I had started dating and I was transitioning to a travel nanny position with a Nashville artist. When I wasn't on the road I would be partying downtown on Broadway with "friends" and even on the road I would find myself gravitating towards alcohol and (legal) weed when I was child-free. As time went on my mental health got worse; longer bouts of depression (outside of my usual cycles), frequent panic/anxiety attacks, low self esteem etc.
My relationship with my now husband was also rocky and things wouldn't change. Our fighting would get worse, we would be nasty to one another and just constantly on the defense with one another. It got to the point that we ended up separating last summer for 2-3 weeks around the time of our daughter's first birthday (that is a story for another day) and it almost ended our marriage.... Even with us having been in therapy since before Ali was born.
Around October of 2024 God captured my attention again. I had exhausted all options and we had still been fighting just as bad as before but not as frequently. I was scrolling on social media when I came across a church based in Atlanta; 2819 church and their pastor Philip Anthony Mitchell. I listened intently to his message and even got a notebook out halfway through. Although that one message wasn't enough to get me to reallllllyyy face God and go back to my roots with Him, it did plant a seed. A seed that began to slowly be watered, nurtured and taken care of.
Now... we fast forward to today: July 29, 2025.
As I began to tune into 2819 more regularly I began to grow, and the conviction of not having community and a church began to weigh on me a little more each time ( I have church trauma so this has been a struggle since I had left at 18 and any other experiences in later years were not very positive). I began praying and asking God to help me find a church in Nashville that mirrored the community and teachings of 2819.
Late May I had some mutual friends get engaged, I took their engagement photos as well as capturing their engagement party. It is at this party that God decided to use this couple as a vessel for suggestion. I do not remember the exact conversation, the only thing I remember was the church name: One City Church Nashville.
A few weeks went by and I decided to visit. IT WAS THE BEST DECISION I COULD HAVE MADE. It was everything I had prayed for and on top of that it is a newer church so the community is smaller. I haven't looked back since. I began attending in May and EVERY WEEK there was a word, a sermon, a moment in worship where God spoke directly to me, a situation, a feeling.
My daughter got dedicated there and on June 29 I got baptized again. I have accepted and embraced having to be the spiritual head of my household (for now) because my husband isn't saved. I have seen the fruits of my labor, the big and small significant changes, the answered prayers both old and new. I have surrendered EVERYTHING, and I know I am going to be met with pushback from the enemy (it is already happening) and this isn't an easy path to take but the eternal reward will be worth it. This is only the beginning and there is so much to unpack.
I want to be an example of strong and steadfast faith to my daughter like my mom was to me.
I hope that through my experiences and through my writing it will help someone feel seen and less alone. I want you to know that you are LOVED, you MATTER and there is a PURPOSE for your life.
It is time for me to go I have a women's conference to go to with my mami about RESTORATION.
God is good all the time.... and all the time God is good <3
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